Actually we heard you were coming and put that there cause we hate you.

(that would be a knocked over display of wine, liquor, whatever customers walk into)

'That's dangerous to have that there, whoever put that there should've known that I would be walking there and put it in the space next to it. It's not my fault, my legs knocked it over, not me! You should tell your manager how dangerous it is to have something where I plan on walking.

Oh and do you have this great, I think it was wine, that I had in this hilltop cafe in some country I can't remember the name of?'

Uggggggggh.