- You don't have to worry about driving anywhere anymore.
- Therefore you can drink as much as you want.
- You've been to jail, you have jail stories.
- As soon as someone finds out you've been to jail, you can tell these stories and make their day.
- If no one is polite enough to ask you about your time in jail, you can always interject one into a conversation by saying 'Well when I was in jail....' and just apply it to the subject matter at hand, you can always make it fit.
- If people aren't paying you the proper attention you demand you can start quietly sobbing or screaming about something and just claim that something triggered a flashback of your time in jail, and then proceed to tell a story about jail, whether or not it has something to do with the 'flashback'.
- As the disturbance level of the flashback goes up so does the chance that someone will you buy a drink*.
- Feel free to embellish, the people want fantasy not stories about the fat chick staring at you from the toilet across the aisle.
- It is possible there is someone there who just recently got a DUI and might be scared of whats to come, frighten them with your worst stories and act as their mentor.
- More thoughts on this subject matter to come.
*theory only, not been tested.
