Friday, January 29, 2010

Awesome things about DUI's and why you should consider driving drunk to get one.

  • You don't have to worry about driving anywhere anymore.
  • Therefore you can drink as much as you want.
  • You've been to jail, you have jail stories.
  • As soon as someone finds out you've been to jail, you can tell these stories and make their day.
  • If no one is polite enough to ask you about your time in jail, you can always interject one into a conversation by saying 'Well when I was in jail....' and just apply it to the subject matter at hand, you can always make it fit.
  • If people aren't paying you the proper attention you demand you can start quietly sobbing or screaming about something and just claim that something triggered a flashback of your time in jail, and then proceed to tell a story about jail, whether or not it has something to do with the 'flashback'.
  • As the disturbance level of the flashback goes up so does the chance that someone will you buy a drink*.
  • Feel free to embellish, the people want fantasy not stories about the fat chick staring at you from the toilet across the aisle.
  • It is possible there is someone there who just recently got a DUI and might be scared of whats to come, frighten them with your worst stories and act as their mentor.
  •  More thoughts on this subject matter to come. 
 
 
 
 
*theory only, not been tested.

17 comments:

Suzy said...

this is all very true. i imagine.

Suzy said...

but. does it get you laid?

Earn 200 said...

Earn easily 200 dollars here in the internet. Simply be an affiliated member and promote the site and its product! http://www.earn-200-dollars-online.info/

phenomenalindia said...

what the fuck is this???

Kold_Kadavr_flatliner said...

Dude, Kick-Ass! I totally, completely agree!! Just make your words more visible on this post and you'll have done your part in saving a portion of humanity! And, please, cut-down on thy swear'n. There's more appropriate ways to say how angry you're than #@!!. Lookit my nine blogs - they're free for the plagiarism, too. God bless.

Anonymous said...

Let me smang it girl, smash it and bang it. They way you work that booty got my heart singing. Let me smang it girl.

hapi said...

Hi Someone sneaky, Nice blog! How to add the Glitter Effect Mouse Pointer to your Blog

zhang1 said...

chanel bags outlet online
chanel outlet online
chanel bags outlet


1
Chanel Bags
Chanel 2.55
Chanel Tote

2
Chanel Classic Flap
Chanel Leather Bags
Chanel Purse

3
Chanel Jewelry
Chanel Brooch
Chanel Bracelets

4
Chanel Earrings
Chanel Necklaces
Chanel Rings

5

Chanel Watches
Chanel Sunglasses
Chanel Shoes

6
Chanel Heels
Chanel Boots
Chanel Ballerinas

7
Chanel Sandals
Chanel Slippers

MAAC said...

I was very encouraged to find this site. I wanted to thank you for this special read. I definitely savored every little bit of it and I have bookmarked you to check out new stuff you post.
Animation courses

Closet Organizer said...

Good efforts. All the best for future posts. I have bookmarked you. Well done. I read and like this post. Thanks.

Good quality tankless said...

Thanks for showing up such fabulous information. I have bookmarked you and will remain in line with your new posts. I like this post, keep writing and give informative post...!

Best massage chair said...

The post is very informative. It is a pleasure reading it. I have also bookmarked you for checking out new posts.

Solar Power Toronto said...

Thanks for writing in such an encouraging post. I had a glimpse of it and couldn’t stop reading till I finished. I have already bookmarked you.

Party supplies gta said...

The post is handsomely written. I have bookmarked you for keeping abreast with your new posts.

Massage toronto said...

A very well-written post. I read and liked the post and have also bookmarked you. All the best for future endeavors

fati said...

thanks for your blog for more beauty and make up see:
http://free-make-up.blogspot.com

Hel said...

you have right !